Friday, November 12, 2010


You know them. You've seen them. They are the ones holding hands at Target, sitting on the same side of the booth at the restaurant (*party foul by the way), enjoying each others' company without a care in the world, and the two people who don't automatically go to the gender specific room (ie: kitchen for ladies, etc) at a party but rather hang out together. They are the DATERS. And if you're a married woman, you know and can easily spot them.

Maybe you swore you and your hubby would always be like that. But let's be honest friends, it's near impossible to keep that level of gushiness going once you throw kids, bills, sleep deprivation, and face it... familiarity, into the mix. I believe we make a trade when we marry somebody. We swap those stomach butterflies and lovey-dovey-all-the-time stuff for comfort and love and friendship. Not a bad deal but if you think you're the exception to the rule and I'm wrong, good for you. And, I think you're lying.

My husband and I will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary in February and while time has indeed flown by, I can't remember a time without him. We have been very blessed in our marriage but we have also had our challenges too. Year five was the WORST. Now that we're on the other side of that, I try to think how I can make it better. I know we will have hard times in the future but how can I minimize that?

One thing I have seen in my parents who are both officially "DATERS", is the willingness to do for their significant other what they stopped doing in their marriage. Trying new things, being excited about what the other person is excited about (even if you're not), and making the other person feel important. It's refreshing to see them in this light but it also leaves me wondering, when do we as married couples stop trying to do a little dating with our spouse now and then? So my challenge to you lovely ladies is to be the girlfriend more often. Whatever that means for you and your hubby, fantastic. Try to do something you did as a girlfriend that you don't do quite as often, or at all, anymore.

I think you'll find that your hubby is pleasantly surprised and it helps have that connection revitalized when you're running a child to soccer, figuring out whose parents to spend what holiday with, switching the laundry, mowing the lawn, and just "raising a family" as my friend T used to say. We can't go back to the dater world, well I guess you could but that's not exactly what I am encouraging here. But we can be better as wives and throw a little girlfriend in the mix every now and again.


  1. Love this!! We can always spot a couple on a first date and we love trying to predict how it's going. Especially the awkwardness!

    This is really encouraging and so right on!

  2. Love this post! My boyfriend and i are on our 5th year of dating and sometimes it feels a bit day-to-day stale so i love your real life perspective and encouragement! i need to remember to be the girlfriend sometimes :)